Honey, They Shrunk My Hormones by Caron Chandler Loveless

Author:Caron Chandler Loveless
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: SOC035000
Published: 2003-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

The Glory of Girls

For instance, I have noticed that a daughter has a way of remembering her mom’s favorite color. She remembers her mom’s ring size, shoe size, and blouse size (which she knows is not the same as her mom’s pants size, but she’ll never tell). A daughter is good about calling to find out things like what the doctor said or how the diet’s going or to pass on the recipe for Whipped Tofu Fondue she saw on morning TV. She knows the movies her mom has seen and the books her mom has read, and she asks about them. A daughter even knows the day, month, and year her mother was born.

Now your average son (Lord bless him), if asked to recount just one of the above items about you, would likely keel over from a brain freeze. But let GuyTalkRadio throw out a trivia question like, “On lap ninety-one of the Daytona 500, what driver was disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct the same year Emmett Smith ran for more yards than the combined scores of all the NHL hockey teams in 1977, 1987, and 1997?” and you know full well your son would be the first caller to blurt out to all of Radio Land, “It’s Richard Petty’s crazy cousin, Hank.”

Meanwhile, not only does your average daughter have all of your preferences catalogued—especially after she moves out—she wants to do things with you, such as meeting for lunch at Aunt Pitty Pat’s Porch or Victoria’s Tea Room and Gardens. In fact, the lunch is likely to be her idea, and she may even bring some kind of gift—maybe a sterling silver pie server, because when she saw it, it reminded her of the times the two of you baked pies together when she was little. Of course this remembrance makes you all watery-eyed, which automatically sets off a similar reaction in her, and something female within her causes her to reach over and squeeze your arm. And for a second or two you sit there all aglow.

Now, your average son would not come within ten football fields of Aunt Pitty Pat’s. This is because most boys are born with a- china- phobia, which seriously hampers their ability to withstand chitchat, eat from Wedgwood plates, or sit for long periods of time in miniature chairs that have claws where there should be feet.

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